when we were infants.. we were so dependent.. we couldn't walk.. we couldn't talk.. we could only fuss.. we needed pampers.. we needed to be fed.. we needed people around to look after us and to care for us..
when we were in pre-school... our thoughts were channeled to fantasies.. making it easier for our caregivers to instill creativity and responsibilities.. admit it.. you guys once loved "power rangers" and "my little pony"..
when we were in primary school.. it was a whole new transition.. from home to school.. we were exposed to new friends and teachers.. we seek pleasure in receiving compliments and encouragements to assure our competence.. like how we tried our hardest to get stickers for our spelling and homework.. if we didn't receive such pleasure, inferiority and inadequacy tend to haunt us for our entire lives..
when we were adolescents.. we were cognitive and emotional.. mood swings aplenty.. we fight for our own rights.. friends are the only things we cared about.. nothing else mattered.. sometimes not even family.. our social identities were our priorities.. all these behaviors may have been caused by conflict on one hand, and the other by positive personality development..
now we are young adults.. we have developed resolutions from the previous stages.. we form new relationships, both in friendship and love.. making each of them blossom into something more beautiful.. but establish intimacy, it requires trust and stable identities of our own.. if not, there are several other alternatives.. from isolation, to the most common, fear of commitment and the inability to depend on others.. with resolutions, as aforementioned, for some of us, it's much easier for us to relate and be patient with our parents/family..
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soon we will be graduating.. we will be working.. and for some of us, getting married.. new financial responsibilities.. having kids.. and from what i can observe, being adults, we tend to feel obligated to provide for the generation.. giving them what we didn't or couldn't have.. most of our parents would have this favourite line, "i'm doing this for your own good".. (we should have listened.. but how should we have known then?)
subsequently, we will face middle age crisis.. job advancement.. raising teens with a whole new set of tantrums, failing to realise we were the same before.. what a headache.. followed by menopause and andropause(correct me if that term is wrong for the guys).. some may have grandchildren by then..
and lastly.. we will have to retire.. at 65 y/o.. hoping that our CPFs won't be exhausted from all the asset commitments.. walking to school with grandchildren, reliving those old days..
as time goes by.. the older we get.. the more stubborn and the more dependent we will be.. we'll have difficulty walking.. climbing stairs.. eating.. toileting even.. we're no different than what we were when we were infants..
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ok.. i know it's a long grandmother entry la.. hahaha.. but i happen to think about all these as i was frying my vegetables for my parents just now.. i was wondering how much i've grown.. from a helpless baby.. to an adult wishing to give back somehow.. and it's all because God saw me through life.. if he weren't there for me.. i wouldn't be there frying those vegetables..
also coz i do quite a bit of people watching.. i observe the life-cycles we go through with the different people on the streets..
watching my dad just makes me feel like he really sad.. coz he really needs people around him.. made me think about how my parents were there for me when i babbling and throwing up at them.. i'm pretty upset with his stubbornness.. but all i can do is to stomach my anger and let mum do the scolding if necessary.. there's really nothing i can do..
it's just what time does to all of us.. maybe some day, we will all be like that too..
-just my observation-
