second post of the day.. haha.. as you can see.. i'm just super distracted..

i was just thinking about friendship.. about how we're always there for each other.. whenever we need someone to lean on.. so heart-warming..

yet on the flip side.. when things turn sour.. it feels so awkward.. painful for some.. so heart-wrenching..


i have to admit.. i find it quite hard to handle when friendships go bad.. i tend to brush it under the rug.. coz i'm afraid to face it head on.. coz friends to me are like gems.. i don't ever wanna let go..

it's so strange knowing you see someone regularly.. at a place where you both frequent.. and because you don't really know what to say.. you just don't even wanna see your friend.. let alone in the eyes.. coz you're so afraid..afraid you might start another conflict because you're not in the right state of mind to craft out the right words to say.. so awkward..

yes.. that was me.. just yesterday.. kind of hard.. until my friend initiated the conversation.. only then i forced myself to loosen up.. i don't understand why it's all so strange.. we're still good friends and all... but........... i dunno..


i see my friends around me unhappy too.. concerned about one.. worried about the other.. i wish all these will stop soon.. faltering friendships are so painful to witness..

i'm not sure if any of you can relate to how i feel.. i know one of my friends can.. but.. i don't really know how to function in life without being happy.. like.. there's a void in me.. and i'm like an incomplete zombie walking around.. lifeless..

i was reading my myer briggs report again.. i'm an ENFJ.. and it never fails to amaze me as to how accurate it is..

i can't take it when there's friction with my friends.. coz i tend to reproach myself.. failing to see my own needs..

i find myself such a nuisance sometimes.. a parasite..



God created all things good..
let's remind ourselves we're made good too..
especially since we're made in His image and likeness..